I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so let's talk penis.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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