Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
