I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize