so explain again why im purple
no
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
