I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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