you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
