OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
