Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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