im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
