forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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