It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
