There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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