Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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