I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
