paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
