Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
