We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize