that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
