I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
