So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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