6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
