The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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