Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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