so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm both gender and math confused
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