i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
