PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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