It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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