it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
All the doctor said was why
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
