Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You pole danced in your parka.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
