The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
