Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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