The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
