i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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