Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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