My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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