return my video game
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
