call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
