No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
