what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
