The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
