I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
