we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
