Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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