Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
