Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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