I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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