It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize