You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
