So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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