I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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