i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can I color on your dick again?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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