i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
