This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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