don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
