all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
