From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize