i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
