bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
As shirtless as possible
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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