I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
