Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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