Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize