You can't motorboat a personality
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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