He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
