where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
