I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
