So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize