i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I would ride that face into the sunset
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
