i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
