Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So drunk its hurt
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
