i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it was like eating out sand paper
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
