He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
