wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
