I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
