need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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