Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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