soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize