so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have post one night stand depression
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