stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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