he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
