O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
