can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
