...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
